Thursday, May 16, 2013
My children like to sleep in my living room. I do not know why. Well, yes I do. When I was pregnant with Diva, Brother was one. The easiest way for me to get him to sleep was to hold him on the couch and watch Baby Einstein Old McDonald until he passed out. (To this day, he still smiles at those muddy pigs). Keep adding babies and voila, they sleep in the living room. We started putting them to sleep in their beds when my son, then 3, yelled at a guest for "sitting your bottom on my bed!" That worked for a while but now they all like sleeping in the same room and whatever. Why am I explaining this? None of you are the Bedtime Police.
A few minutes ago, I carried Babygirl to my bed so she could snuggle up to her daddy. Also, her sister must be dreaming about being a ninja because she keeps kicking her in the face. As I picked her up, she didn't even move. Not a muscle. If someone even breathes on me in my sleep, I am alert. I jump up, blink a lot to wet my dried contacts and say "What? Who's crying? Huh?" But not my kids. They just sink into my shoulder and snuggle up.
I think it is because they feel safe. Safe in their home with their mama and daddy. This is there safe haven. I love it that they feel like that, but it also lays a burden on me. How do I keep my children safe? What if I let them down?
The truth of the matter is, you can't keep them safe. Yes, you can cover your outlets and and lock up your guns, but you cannot protect them from everything. This past year has shown us that.
This is a hard fact of life for me to face. I have never been afraid of much (except someone hiding under my bed. Or noises in the dark. Or The Night of the Living Dead. Or It.) until I had kids. When I was little, I lived on a 300+ acre farm that I ran around on with my brother and sister all day. We could have drowned in a pond or gotten bit by a snake and no one would have known for a while. My parents were good parents. I think the main difference is they didn't know about every freak accident like we do now. Gotta love the Internet. Every day you hear about a child dying from something so simple, like falling of the monkey bars or getting some weird virus. Every time I see something like that, I automatically think of the mother and how she thinks she could have prevented it. I bet she feels guilty. I would. Not that she should, but as moms we tend to blame ourselves.
I am super strict with my kids safety. Just this year I started letting them play in the yard without me. Some of this fear is paranoia on my part. It also doesn't help that my husband is full of fun stories about the weirdos who live in out town. Sometimes no information is better than too much. I think maybe if your kids go to school it is a little easier because you don't witness every time they are almost gravely injured. Maybe. I don't know.
I am trying to ease up. I want them to have a childhood. I don't want to be a helicopter mom. It is hard. But I know I have to do it. I have to let them learn and figure stuff out on there own.
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
Another problem I am having is I start looking at Twitter, Facebook, Instagram or reading blogs and NOTHING gets done. I will glance at my phone to check an email and the next thing I know it is 2 hours later and the kids are missing (not really). My problem is I develop what I think are relationships with people and I become invested in what's going on with them. Someone had a rough day? Let me post a funny picture to make them laugh. Another person gets a promotion? Let me congratulate them! This is all fine and good, except for some of these people I do not really know. I need to shrink my circle.
Here's my plan, I will continue to blog. I won't use the kids names on FB , Twitter or IG. I will protect them. I am trying to cut down on FB friends. If you notice I unfriended you, it is nothing personal. You can follow my little family and my craziness on here. I am cutting back on Twitter and Instagram too. This blog is supposed to be where I talk about mommy stuff and recipes and things I love. That is not what FB or any other social media are for.
I hope you will read my blog. I hope you know I am just trying to be smart. Thanks for understanding.
Sunday, May 12, 2013
Friday, May 10, 2013
I post a lot on here about parenting pressure. It comes from the media, church, our friends and family and complete strangers. I think the worst and most pressure, however, comes from within. The kind of stress I give myself is crazy! Here's a snippet:
Okay. Time to feed the kids. I should really make a big breakfast. Studies say it's the best way to start your day. Let's see, eggs and pancakes? Yes! Should I be buying organic eggs? I could. But they are so much more expensive. Can I put a price on their health? Am I GIVING THEM CANCER??!! Okay, calm down. Just use the eggs you have Max (my middle name is Maxine and I call myself this in self dialogue) onto pancakes. I have whole grain flour. I should use that. But then I have to find a recipe. I'll just use a boxed mix. BUT ALL THOSE CHEMICALS!! CANCER AGAIN! Pull yourself together woman. Great now the kids are whining and starving. Here have some pop tarts. I cannot even make you a healthy breakfast. I suck.
See. Is this even helpful? And to be honest, I don't care about food ingredients. I THINK I should care because blog moms and people on FB and the Today show tell me I should.
What I am trying to say is, pick your poison. Pick the one or two things that are really important to you and focus on them. Don't let everything else that the world tells you is important push you away from the tasks you want to focus on.
For example, my two things are education and turning my kids into adults. I feel strongly about how my children are educated therefore I home school. I will read everything I can about the subject and study curriculum like a mad woman. I also want my kids to grow up to be contributing members of society. I think that can only happen if they have a sense of responsibility and know who they are. I give them chores and show them how to love others. I help them figure out their passions so that they can be happy. We spend a lot of time together as a family because I think that will help them to choose their own partner one day. These are the things I focus on.
So, your thing may be healthy foods, exercise, sports, music.. Whatever you feel is important for your family, you have to do that. Just be still and listen to yourself. You'll know. No woman can have a neat house, eat all organic, a wonderful marriage, genius children, all home made clothes and sanity. It just doesn't work. Pick your poison. Follow your passion. You will be much happier. Trust me.